On Letting Them Be

Sushi as our first born had been drilled on shapes and colours, alphabets and numbers in his early years. I was a stay-at-home then and I was all out. He surprised us when he counted up to 100 at barely 2-1/2, doing mental math at 3 and started multiplication at 5. We’ve been advised by many to have him tested for giftedness.

We didn't and probably won't ever

On one Babycenter.com article I read, I came across a parent’s comment on why most parents think their child is gifted, which I find truly inspiring and timely in a competitive world we live in today, and I quote:

“I don't think parents who question other parent's assertion that their children are "gifted" are rude or juvenile. I think they are responding to a culture of competition and excess, one that does not spare children or even toddlers. I think some parents are so caught up in the wonder of their own children, are so separate from the wide range of child development and want so desperately to have an exceptional child, they will dance over hot coals to insist their Sally's off to Harvard at 2. Both my brother and I tested "gifted" in public school, both were sent to enrichment/gifted stream programs and we're both happy, well adjusted people with good jobs and great lives. Funny thing - both our parents are bright, articulate and interesting human beings with great parenting skills. And my child? Well. Master genius of the universe of course : )) Just keep reading, dancing, playing with bugs and going to galleries. Live your own fantastic, interesting, "gifted" life and right as rain, your little wonder will follow on beside you. I try to ignore most of this stuff, knowing from experience that the kids who make good at the end of the day are the kind ones, the ones that learned to play fairly with true joy and work hard. The ones who were flashcarded, pressured, driven nearly insane by activities, extra-curricular tutoring, language classes, dance recitals, music classes, drawing studios...well. They either rebelled and dropped out, became strangely average or ate their idiotic parents [who were]cooked in a divine wine reduction.”

Another parent wrote:

“Let me just say this - I was/am gifted. I suprised my mom one day by reading Dr. Suess Mulberry Street. But I have to say this to the "gifted toddler acceleration" debate. Let the kids be kids. You get such a short time in this world to be interested in the intricacies of flowers or the cracks in the sidewalk. Capitalize now on the fascinations that your child will soon be too old to really appreciate. Save the alphabet flash cards for later. That is what I will always thank my mother for - sharing the wonders of the world with me and sparking my exhuberant curiosity in all things. And believe me, you can't possibly be unqualified to teach any 16 month old. A 5 year old can teach a 16 month old, not the same things you will, but things you couldn't. Just enjoy your children. That will be what they would remember.”

Between my 2 boys is 4 years and a big difference in personality and capability, but equally unique and splendid. Sashimi is copying his brother in a lot of things but the above, and mastering his own abilities. It is so easy to let him walk on his brother’s path and follow suit. But we don't. And we don't compare them.  We just let him be. And he has acquired skills of his own that are, just the same, worthy of recognition and praise.

After all the kids will be kids only once in their life (and mine). So I simply let them be.